The Goodness of the Lord

Psalm 27:13

I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living!

David is making a declarative statement of faith here. If you read the context of this passage/psalm, you see David was dealing with a whirlwind of anxious thoughts from the enemy. In the midst of the battles to not heed the lies of the enemy that speaks out against him, you hear David declaring God’s faithfulness FOR David when all else may seem otherwise or while the enemy is trying to play with his thoughts to think otherwise.

He is saying over every mind battle, lie, etc, “Where there is life, I can see God’s goodness.” He has the hope of seeing and looking upon God’s goodness when maybe what he is seeing or feeling feels otherwise.

As I journaled through this psalm and reflected on this verse, I was left with two questions I pondered on:

• What does God’s goodness look like?
• What is the result of God’s goodness?

I am sure there is much we can dig deep into, but these were some simple thoughts the Lord led me to.

To answer the first question: What does God’s goodness look like?, I was led to one passage of Scripture – Luke 10:38-42.

Luke 10:38-42

Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house.  And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to His teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to Him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”

Here we see Martha, distracted with serving to the point that the Lord points out her anxiety that is troubling her about many things. Then, we see Mary, who the Lord points out has chosen the good part/portion by sitting at His feet.  I looked up the word, “good” to get an idea of what the Lord was trying to say when Mary chose the good portion.  Good comes from the Greek word agathos and it implies the following:

• a good that benefits others
• intrisically good, good in nature, good whether it be seen or not
  • good in nature makes reference to the equivalent of fertile soil or a fruitful tree
• kindness
• useful

So, the Lord shows us where to find His goodness…at His feet! And, in studying this Greek word, we get a brief look at what God’s goodness looks like:

• pleasant & agreeable
• a good that is useful and benefits others
• kind
• the soil of the heart is fertile, allowing the fruit of the Spirit to take root and grow

God’s goodness speaks of Him, His character, His heart, etc. So, David is declaring in Psalm 27, while the enemy is working overtime to tear down my faith and sow discouragement to the point of despair and hopelessness, the Lord surrounds me with His goodness – His heart & character that far outweighs the intent of the enemy to press me down.

What about the result of God’s goodness?  Let’s look at Romans 2:4 (at least part of it)…This is a verse that has taught me how to pray for those who have turned or walked away from the Lord:

…God’s kindness (goodness) is meant to lead you to repentance.

God’s goodness leads us to repentance.

What is repentance? It means to turn – to turn away from all of that which leads one to destruction.  The original Greek is metanoia and it means “change of mind, change in inner man.”

So, when David declares he see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living, he is declaring that he will see God’s character working deeply when anxiety of the enemy wants to pull one down. God’s goodness will prevail over anxiety, entrapment of the enemy and more.

As I reflected on these truths in light of a present circumstance that wants to take me down with anxiety, this prayer stirred in my heart that I journaled:

Thank You, Father, for Your goodness! Your goodness is pleasant and agreeable, living for the benefit of others and not self. Help me to be aware of Your goodness that surrounds me and invest in the seed of Your goodness in others’ hearts. Help me to have a Mary heart that seeks the good portion, laying ahold of my inheritance with You.

Make my heart to have true fertile soil where You can plant Your seed that Your goodness becomes part of my nature. Through my life, may my children, students and all that surround me encounter Your goodness (character) that leads many to fully turn their hearts to You!

You are good!

May these worship songs encourage you as well!

Find You On My Knees by Kari Jobe 

You are For Me by Kari Jobe

You are good by Kari Jobe

 

Moving Mountains

This morning, I strapped on my hiking boots that I have not worn since my mountain hike in Colorado. I needed to take a walk and process some things. I just finished drafting an email apologizing to someone because of my tone in the previous one that definitely expressed frustration. I knew I was starting to express my frustration in a not-so-Christ-centered expression.

As I walked, I walked the wet fields, caring only to get a word from the Lord, desiring our situation to change. I felt so powerless to fix anything and needed something from the Lord.

As I walked through a baseball field, I was struck by these white mushrooms that were sticking out on the other side of the field. They were unique to the ones I often see where I live. They stood out to me. They were “unique.” This word “unique” stood out in my mind as it is a word that the Lord continually brings to our family – when we were pastoring the church, how the Lord brought Tim & I together, etc. Unique is not wrong, but different for a purpose – to cause people to pay attention in a way. The thought hit – this situation is “unique.” I will be honest…I don’t want unique, because it calls us to process outside of what is normal and how others handle. I want to reference others’ and use for my situation. I want to get through and not process outside of the box (norm).

So, this “unique” thought made me think of moving mountains. As my playlist on my phone played a song about God moving mountains, I was struck with this thought: Are we always called to “remove” the mountains or are we called to climb them at times too? I sat down and pulled up the word origin to Matthew 17:20 (“Because of your little faith,” He told them. “For I assure you: If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will tell this mountain, Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” HCSB).

Move means to “pass over, depart, go, etc.” It comes from a word that breaks down further into “meta” “basis”. “Meta” means with. “Basis” means foot, walking. I find that interesting. We often think we are called to remove the mountain, but what if we are, at times, called to remove ourselves from the place we are in and climb over the impossibility and conquer the thing that seems to be conquering us? What if we are called to take the ground of this mountain and walk in authority over it? Instead of praying the mountain away, the miracle is that we walked over it and didn’t let it conquer us. The miracle is that we had the strength to to endure up and over it. I am not saying it is the other way…move the actual mountain, but I felt the Lord gave me a different perspective today in light of my recent experience of hiking a mountain and the physical lessons I learned.

Then, this thought hit me…how do you go over this mountain? Sometimes, we may not be so graceful. God’s grace gets us over, but we may be a mess in the process. We are just grateful we are making it over and can’t focus on how pretty we look in the process. So, can we not offer grace to those who are scaling some difficult mountains?

You know? I find it interesting that the Lord mentions this mountain being moved after He came down one with His three disciples to meet a demoniac child. He was on a mountain and a measure of glory was revealed to give them the ability to receive this message now. Their unbelief was exposed only to hear a word of faith. And, to hear a challenge…

v. 21 However, this kind does not come out except by prayer and fasting.”

Our challenge is to scale the mountain but in a different mindset/habit then you are familiar with. What do you normally go to in those moments of “hunger”? I put “hunger” in quotes because it can be food, but we can hunger for other things – attention, acceptance, respite, etc. Where do we go for these things? I know for me, I can go to videos as my respite to feed a hunger to shut things off and not deal with things. It is a way I handle my stress. My fast may be a call to handle my stress different than I have, breaking a habit and operating in a different mindset than I’ve known. Change is hard, but when it is offered in a context of deliverance and freedom, is it not worth it?

In July, I climbed a mountain for others’ freedom. Right now, I feel called to climb a mountain for another’s freedom and in the process become more free in the process.

Isaiah 55:8-12

8For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.
9For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

10“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven
and do not return there but water the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
11so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

12“For you shall go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and the hills before you
shall break forth into singing,
and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
13Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress;
instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle;
and it shall make a name for the LORD,
an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.”

 

Lessons from the Trail #3: Peace, Joy, Strength, Finish & Follow Through

I know…my subtitle is not very creative, but it is a list of different thoughts that the Lord taught me through this one verse:

Isaiah 55:12

For you shall go out with joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.

The Lord gave me this verse while I was preparing prayer cards for Zambia – the place I was raising support & awareness for my Freedom Challenge climb. When I arrived in Estes Park, Colorado, the Lord brought this verse back to me. It was an encouraging verse to start the week off, but it became my direction when I almost gave up and as I felt like giving up en route.

In my own devotions yesterday (about a month after this climb), the Lord brought this verse back to me as I am facing my own personal mountains that are determining how I will respond. So, let’s just do some reflection on this verse in general first. Here are some thoughts I jotted down in my journal:

In the context of this verse, it uses the analogy of sowing seed (v. 10 & 11) – God’s Word – that won’t fail in its purpose but will succeed in what it is “sent” for. Then, this verse comes declaring a send off. And, the where is not specified but the how: with joy and with peace.

When we travel into new places with new people, etc. all types of anxiety can creep in and reason us out of the journey.  Past experiences of hurt, failure, disappointment, etc. can keep one from moving forward in what God is sending one to do.

But, if one is moving forward with God’s mindset (His thoughts & ways are higher – see v. 8 & 9), then one can step into the fullness of v. 12 – “go out with joy…led forth in peace…” The start of this chapter in Isaiah 55 talks on bringing your emptiness to God and partaking of His provisions & resources when you’ve exhausted your own.

So, you can almost assume the audience this verse is intended for are those who have operated in one mindset of fear & failure being called to a different way of thinking and operating – faith & trust in God with the evidence of joy and peace.

As I faced a physical mountain and this verse carried me up, I may have some spiritual mountains. How is my mindset as I face these mountains and hills? Is it one of defeat or faith? Where is the evidence – am I in depression or walking in a measure of joy? Am I moving forward or sitting still in doubt? Do I have a retreat attitude or a faith-conquering attitude?

When Tuesday of my 3 day hikes hit, I was ready to retreat and call it quits. I had a hard climb on Tuesday. It was to Chasm Lake & I didn’t make it all the way with the whole team, but I made it quite far. I missed maybe the last mile. I cried up the trail as we faced higher altitude and I started feeling the effects and my body was wearing down. I had to mentally focus on the Lord’s word to me as I literally had to go step-by-step. I had to try not to look too far ahead and get discouraged on the distance remaining but have my head down focused on my steps and how I was using my hiking poles to transfer some of that energy. I was focusing on getting water to keep hydrated and feeding myself with trail mix to fuel my body for all the energy I was losing.  It was hard. But, I did it – it was a huge conquering moment for me.

Then, Tuesday night came and I wasn’t so sure I should do the next day’s climb. I didn’t want to hinder the team. I didn’t know if I would make it. But, my team leader believed in me. I tried to reason away that she was a young, enthusiastic 23 year old and she didn’t understand I was 39 going on 40 and a lot less out of shape than she was. (Surprisingly, I found out she did think I was much younger…maybe she would have treated me differently, but I think the Lord allowed her to think otherwise so I took this next step :)).

My friend and I were torn. We were ready to join the prayer team instead or see if there were spots in beginner team, etc. But, that night, the Lord brought this verse Isaiah 55:12 back to us. We felt the Lord saying, “Go for it! And, go with peace that I am with you and joy in the journey!” We did. And, we questioned every step to meet the team, but we did.

As I faced this trail, I felt the Lord speak a few things to me:

• You have more strength than you know.
• When you move in faith, you are stepping into God’s strength.
• When I go forth in joy, I am allowing Him to be my strength for the journey.
• It is important to finish something and have real follow through.

That last one hit me. I realized I have an issue with follow through. I tend to not finish all my tasks well because I hit a bump in the road so-to-speak or a mountain faces me I feel I can’t tackle/climb. But, He gave me a physical mountain to show me I am weak in my ability but not in His strength and endurance, etc.  He showed me strength I didn’t think I had, which ultimately is His strength in reserve. He used the team to motivate me – whether they knew it or not. I wouldn’t have finished unless I was with the team. Thus, He showed me the importance of being tapped into a body of believers. We motivate each other whether we know it or not – sometimes it’s intentional encouragement and sometimes by just watching another walk through a tough trial with grace, strength and endurance helps you move forward.

So, as I am faced with my spiritual mountains today – a month after this physical journey. I am reminded that I can go forward with peace, joy and allow these mountains to produce a song. What is a song? But, a testimony to the handiwork of God. I have a song the Lord is writing! I don’t want to miss it because I sit still in doubt but move forward in my step-by-step journey allowing the Lord to take me with each step.

Lessons from the Trail #2 – Coming Down the Mountain Isn’t Always Easy

We often talk of going up the mountain…the great effort & focus as well as the great victory when you get to the top. But, the reality is that getting to the top is only half the journey. You eventually do need to make the journey back down. We are not called to stay at the top because there are people below that need to hear the Word God has spoken, the Word that brought you to the top.

Think of Matthew 17 with the story of the Mount of Transfiguration.

Matthew 17:1-20

The Transfiguration

1And after six days Jesus took with him Peter and James, and John his brother, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. 2And he was transfigured before them, and his face shone like the sun, and his clothes became white as light. 3And behold, there appeared to them Moses and Elijah, talking with him. 4And Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, it is good that we are here. If you wish, I will make three tents here, one for you and one for Moses and one for Elijah.” 5He was still speaking when, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my beloved Son,^a with whom I am well pleased; listen to him.”6When the disciples heard this, they fell on their faces and were terrified. 7But Jesus came and touched them, saying, “Rise, and have no fear.” 8And when they lifted up their eyes, they saw no one but Jesus only.

9And as they were coming down the mountain, Jesus commanded them, “Tell no one the vision, until the Son of Man is raised from the dead.” 10And the disciples asked him, “Then why do the scribes say that first Elijah must come?” 11He answered, “Elijah does come, and he will restore all things. 12But I tell you that Elijah has already come, and they did not recognize him, but did to him whatever they pleased. So also the Son of Man will certainly suffer at their hands.” 13Then the disciples understood that he was speaking to them of John the Baptist.

Jesus Heals a Boy with a Demon

14And when they came to the crowd, a man came up to him and, kneeling before him, 15said, “Lord, have mercy on my son, for he has seizures and he suffers terribly. For often he falls into the fire, and often into the water. 16And I brought him to your disciples, and they could not heal him.” 17And Jesus answered, “O faithless and twisted generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him here to me.” 18And Jesus rebuked the demon,^b and it^c came out of him, and the boy was healed instantly.^d 19Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, “Why could we not cast it out?” 20He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”

 ^{This was a thought my husband shared once about needing to go down the mountain to reach the people with the glory revealed at the top of the mountain. We can’t keep this Word for ourselves but need to share it. We have been entrusted with the Gospel and the gifting to share it.} 

So, as I ventured down a mountain for three days this week, I was reminded of this word.  And, I thought of other stories, like Moses, coming down the mountain with the commandments only to find the children of Israel whoring around their man-made idol. There are so many other examples in the Bible. Share in the comments below of other stories that come to mind.

Thinking on these stories and my physical experience of trekking up to victory and now coming down, I’ve concluded, it is not always easier to go downhill.  I still needed to put my focus forward and mentally consider how I was using my hiking poles for balance and to help take some of the energy from my body to reduce the impact and help sustain my energy as I stepped down a lot of boulder steps. My speed probably increased because gravity pulls down and my breathing wasn’t as labored. But, I was weary. I had to fight mental and physical weariness on some of those descents. It was not a light-hearted descent but a focused work down.

The Lord definitely calls us to the mountain and has us find great victory there.  Peter, James & John had a revelation of Christ that spoke of His glory & the Father’s pleasure. Moses had a revelation of the Word of God (His commandments) that would be the foundation of faith for Israel in years to come. But, they needed to bring that glory, revelation & Word down.  In the valley, Peter, James & John will be encountered with a demon-possessed boy who needed deliverance. They also needed the lesson from Jesus on how to apply the faith, as He spoke the truth of faith moving mountains.  He spoke this after they just came down from the mountain.  Moses needed to see what was happening with the children of Israel so they could be stopped. And, then, he received his own lesson from the Lord shortly after as the Lord dealt with his anger.

So, we need the mountaintop experiences. We need the fight to get to the top. We need the glory revealed, but we also need to descend to the valleys for the people. And, to learn the lessons in the valleys.  They had the revelations at the top of the mountains but the lessons down below. Going downhill into the valleys calls on intentional focus & disciplined faith, but don’t grow discontent in these places of the journey because they are God-ordained steps to walk out your calling.

What other mountain-top to valley stories from the Bible come to mind? Share in the comments.

Lessons from the Trail, #1

Yesterday, I completed three and a half days of day hikes in the Rocky Mountains to raise awareness and support for those enslaved in human trafficking and slavery across the world. Visit the following site for more info on this worthy outreach: www.thefreedomchallenge.com.  While we were hiking for their freedom, God was working His own freedom in us as well. I want to share some of these lessons He taught me and continues to teach me.

On Sunday, the Lord gave me a verse:

Isaiah 54:10

For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

Let’s focus on this: STEADFAST LOVE!  A month or two ago, my spiritual mother encouraged me through a rough season that I needed a fresh revelation of God’s love.  I was struck back by this as I have been walking with the Lord for 22 years now and knowing God’s love seems like the basics. It was humbling to hear but what I needed to hear.  And, I sincerely took this to heart and asked the Lord to show me.  With that, let me share some thoughts I had from the Lord this past Sunday and then my journey through this climb that strengthened what the Lord wanted me to see.

Steadfast Love – It is often used as a synonym with “mercy” in other Bible translations. So, obviously, mercy is linked with the Lord’s love. When I study/think about the word “steadfast”, I see the words: steady and fast. As we hiked over these past few days, our paces fluctuated or at least mine did (:)). I think of the Lord’s love that will have a steady pace for us. He won’t tire out with us and have to slow down His love. But, His heart is for us and beats for us that His love remains steady for us at an incredible pace that moves us forward in Him and not where we will stall out. When I stall in my growth or movement forward with the Lord, it is usually because I’m responding to fear. But, when responding to Christ’s love, He propels me forward because of His love.

Then, this other thought hits me how we are hiking as a team our paces will be dependent upon one another. The steadiness will be in our ability to fluctuate our pace for each other. Is not this the Lord’s heart as He adjusts His pace and remains steady with us? The steadiness is not the pace but His consistency of being present with us no matter where we are in our pace/walk with the Lord.

Joseph in the Bible had a continual theme of “the Lord was with Joseph.” Yet, when he was sent to prison in Gen. 39, it added, “…and showed him steadfast love” (Gen. 39:21). It was in the prison Joseph learned of the steadfast love of God. As we have faced the challenge for others’ freedom on the mountain this past week, my prayer is that in our own places of captivity the Lord will continue to show His steadfast love to us. As this was my prayer at the beginning of the week, so it remains. As we ponder the glory of these mountains and reflect on Isaiah 54, may we recognize how these mountains can depart (as tough as they are, but it is possible) but not God’s steadfast love.

As I hiked, our team leader spoke of the founding Freedom Challenge director who used to look for heart shaped rocks while she hiked. As I made my final descent down the mountain yesterday (that I almost didn’t climb because of the real struggle to continue – but, that’s another post 😉 ), I saw so many of these heart-shaped rocks.  These 3 days of hikes were mentally & physically challenging. But, these challenges birthed or revived something in me spiritually that allowed me to get a fresh glimpse of His love that is with me through every step. My steps may be labored, filled with doubt at times, etc. But, His love is steadfast…always consistent and just THERE! I may not have noticed heart shaped rocks in the previous days, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t there. The Lord’s love is always present. We just need to notice!

Here is to a walk of growing in the steadfast love of God with every single step we take – whether going up the mountain or coming down! May we have eyes to see His love with every step whether we are summiting or coming down into a valley in our lives!

Above is a mudslide that happened on the Twin Sisters Peak trail in 2013. They are still fixing this trail to this day.  Think back to Isaiah 54 – the mountains may depart and the hills be removed…So, here is an example, a whole side of this mountain was removed. Floodwaters caused it to be removed.  Think to Noah’s flood…mountains depart? Or, glaciers carving out areas as I will show you below?  All these possibilities that mountains and hills are removed…strong forces call for that. BUT, His steadfast love CAN NOT be removed! Amazing!

Imagine how many heart shaped rocks are in this pile at the top of Twin Sisters Peak which my team summitted!

At the top of Twin Sisters Peak before heading down when the Lord started showing me all these heart shaped rocks and reminded me of this verse He gave me at the start of the Freedom Challenge! He is SO good…always ready to show us His love! We just need to be ready to notice!

A Token of His Love

Today, I had a meltdown…I sure didn’t expect it, but emotionally I fell apart.  It came when I was trying to get my daughter down to nap and also working in the process of potty training.  It came after I spent most of the morning, praying & believing for a victory & breakthrough for potty training, as well as other family members and other matters.  And, what was the result of all put together? MELTDOWN!

I just started bawling and declaring to God how tired I was.  I melted down and started ranting to the Lord that I don’t know if He really answers my prayers.  I cried out for faith.  I declared my feelings of failure as a parent, feeling I make no effect on my children.  I found myself, letting out the emotional exhaustion I’ve been feeling for so long.  I knew I needed a good cry, but didn’t expect it to come this way.  I cried out my struggle with discouragement and defeat.  Somewhere in between, I cried and asked the Lord for a token of His love…I know I needed to believe, but it was one of those moments, I needed a hug.

Somewhere through all of this, my son came in from practicing basketball and became a support to me.  He immediately began cleaning my daughter’s toys up, putting DVD’s away, and even helping to get my daughter back on the potty.  I went over to him, knowing it was an expression of his love to me to try to help eliminate some of my stresses.  Then, he asked to go for a walk and I let him.  He came back to tell me about this cool thing he saw.  He was walking and saw what looked like a thick butterfly.  He was intrigued by it so he looked closer.  He said that as he leaned in, it flew away, but so did what appeared to be about 8 different butterflies.  There were definitely 2 monarch butterflies, but then there were others of different colors.  Somehow I knew that story was for me, but solely it was a special reminder for him, thinking of other times he’s had cool sights like this.  Little did I know the significance of his butterfly sight.

As I went through the next hour, I still was quietly praying, still feeling saddened, defeated and such.  I wanted that token.  I needed that hug and reassurance that I will be okay.  I felt the answer was coming through Tim’s message he was about to preach at Times Square Church.  I streamed the message.  The kids quietly sat in the other room, watching a movie.  And, I sat quietly, knitting a scarf when the Holy Spirit just showed up to show me His love once again.  My husband preached about God’s transforming power.  But, he talked about glorying in those places of change we are in and not to despise  the places we are at.  He shared the analogy of a butterfly.  What?  Hon, did you say a butterfly?  YES!  He shared about the places of struggle a butterfly goes through in the cocoon before the life of the butterfly is revealed.  He shared this to encourage us if we feel we are struggling, because we don’t know how God is using the struggle to show forth His life.  Immediately, I thought of my son’s sight just a couple hours before…a butterfly that eventually flew out to reveal multiple butterflies.  What did the Lord speak to me?  Your life is making an effect and out of the season of struggle you are going through, the life and beauty will be seen to many that others will look on and see the life of Christ.  As the service went into a time of worship, I began to weep in His presence, as I felt that hug I asked for.  I felt God specifically answered my prayer.  How did He answer?  He took my son for a walk and showed him a vision of butterflies to share with me.  And, he took my husband to NYC to receive a word that would speak directly to his wife’s battles and heart struggle!  Wow!  Yes, God hears my prayers!

What did I also learn?  My daughter is not getting potty trained as fast as I like.  But, see the progress I did make this week.  And, don’t give up, but be patient with her, as God is with me about catching onto some things He is trying to teach me.  See the success of a moment with my son that so clearly showed a gift of encouragement in him.  Though I melted down, in the end, I got a revelation of God’s love more clearly and I had a bonding moment with my son.

Father, overwhelm me more with understanding your love!  Did victory come today?  Yes, not as I thought, but as you intended! 🙂  (Isaiah 55) Father, thank You for hearing my prayers. (John 11)

Weary, Yet Pursuing

This morning’s devotional got me thinking (which is what it should do, right? 🙂 )

I am doing a study of Gideon with Priscilla Shirer’s Bible study – so good!  Today’s subject/topic was: Weary, Yet Pursuing!  The verse we looked at was:

Judges 8:4

Then Gideon and the 300 men who were with him came to the Jordan and crossed over, weary yet pursuing.

We discussed the places we look to get respite or rest when we are weary.  I noted the places.  We noted how those places fulfill or don’t fulfill.  This thought came when going on to look at verses 5-9 where Gideon went to two villages, 4 miles apart from each other, seeking bread or something to help with their physical weariness.  The response?  The villages refused.  Gideon’s response?  Anger – promised to destroy them…wow!

We finished off our study with the following two verses:

Isaiah 40:28-29, 31

The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases powers…Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength.

Philippians 3:13-14

Forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

In a nutshell, my thoughts went to how do I respond to my weariness?  Lately, I feel like I’ve been that snapping turtle that can quickly snap at things that have not been as I hoped.  Unfortunately, people have gotten those snaps from me (sorry to anyone of you reading this :)). One thing recently, the Lord has been speaking to me is HUMILITY.  I can quickly react to people with a pride and a frustration, or I can choose the route of humility – which is not letting others walk all over you, but it is choosing not to respond out of hurt, but out of a heart of integrity and upright character.

I don’t know about you, but it takes much more strength to go down in humility than it does to react in my pride or my hurt!  And, when you are tired and weary, can you imagine?  Yup!  It’s hard!  So, it’s easier to justify attitudes and frustrations.  It takes much more strength to respond in humility of heart, allowing God to be honored in choices & reactions.

So, this is where my thought is leading – where do we find the strength to respond in humility to these things just not going our way?  Isaiah 40 says that the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, the Everlasting God gives strength to the weary…and, those who wait on Him gain new strength.

OK – so, He gives it, and how does that happen?  We need to wait for the Lord!  What does it mean to wait for you?  That was my question and my answer was:  “when in His presence, don’t be anxious for a quick Word, but learn to rest in His presence…worship, meditate on His Word, listen to worship songs & hear His words speaking to you, etc.  thus, TAKE TIME with Him…don’t rush Him.”

Then, when I read Philippians 3:13-14 again, I saw how an athlete fights through weariness & often pain to gain that prize…why?  because gaining that prize or goal is their passion.

OK – bear with me here…how many of you play video games?  How determined are you to get to the next level?  It gets almost addicting, right?  You almost can’t even turn it off until you get to that goal you want.  All of sudden, things seem unimportant, doing the necessary things, like sleep :), are nothing compared to getting to the next level.  I noticed this when I was playing Solitaire on my kindle.  I don’t like getting a completed game over 2 minutes on my time.  I will keep playing until I get under 2 min. or beat my best time.  Sometimes, I’m exhausted and even bored of the game, but I’ve found myself still playing with determination to get my goal of under 2 min. or beat my best time of 1 min. & 15 seconds.  Then, my thought went to my son when he plays video games.  Often, he is bored of a particular games, but he WANTS to get past a level and see what lays beyond that.

(DISCLAIMER:  this is not about how addictive video games are…this does reveal how they need to be handled in moderation, but please do not get distracted from the thought I’m putting forth :)).

Here’s my thought:  with the amount of determination to go to the next level in our games or our sports, no matter the boredom or weariness, why don’t we put that same attention and focus in seeking the Lord?  We can give Him a quick minute and call it devotions, but can we WAIT for Him, where we aren’t anxiously wanting a quick fix or quick answer?  You know, I think sometimes the reason the Lord doesn’t answer our questions so quickly is because He aches to spend time with us…and, if He can get us to sit with Him longer, and get us into His Word more to find answers, then, He is accomplishing His purpose in creating us – relationship!

Lord, may our passion be YOU!  “Passion doesn’t negate weariness; it just resolves to press beyond it.” – Priscilla Shirer (p. 140). May we press past the weariness that wants to cause us to throw in the towel and quit, or wants us to shout at everyone in our way!  May we be found responding to Your promise to gain new strength in Your presence.  Teach us to wait Lord, and not be so anxious, where we won’t even get mad at you for not speaking or moving fast enough for us.  Help us to go against the grain of this culture that yells, GIVE IT TO ME NOW!  Sometimes, I feel I react to You as my 3 year old reacts to me when I don’t move fast enough for her.  No more tantrums Lord, but waiting on You!  And, You promise new strength and might to do ALL you’ve called us to do…including the practical daily chores of dishes, laundry, potty training and the ministry/work duties that calls for a lot of physical and mental strength.  Help me to move forward in this type of faith, trusting You!  Let me STOP looking behind to my failures, mistakes and all those things that have exhausted me as it says in Philippians, but help me to reach forward to more of You!  Lord, be my Passion!

A Race Called Life

Remember how I shared that I was memorizing Hebrews 12:1-2…I know it’s been two weeks…what happened? Well, I was challenged in my faith in a few areas. Let me share a post I posted in a mother’s prayer group last week to just exemplify what was happening in my heart over these past two weeks:

“I’m going to be very vulnerable and honest right now…please pray for me. There’s an anger in my heart that I need to be healed of. I’ve been finding myself getting offended easy by a lot of different things and I’ve been harboring it somewhat. Personally, I’m exhausted and I don’t know how to rest nor how to get rest. Also, I think the anger and offense is only unveiling a deeper issue of healing. I’ve been finding myself discontent, depressed at moments and lacking in joy. I just feel to call on you to pray because it’s really hard right now. Thanks, my friends.”

Well, I believe the Lord answered my friends’ prayers by speaking an illustration to me, that came out of my meditating on the part of Hebrews 12:1 that says to lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us…As I meditated on this thought, I was struck by the following illustration:

Picture someone running a race. As the runner is running, there are opponents and those on sidelines throwing rocks at the runner. These rocks are meant to hinder the runner in the race. And,on these rocks are written the comments that are spoken as they are thrown (i.e. “You can’t run.” “Look, at you, do you think you will even make it?” “Whose cheering for you? You’re all alone.” “Look at those weak legs. They’ll take you only so far. Give up!” , etc.)

Imagine now you are the runner. You begin to pick these “rocks” up and begin holding them and try to keep running. Even you feel you’ve got the upper hand as you catch a couple of the “rocks” in your hand. But, you still carry these “rocks” as you continue running in this race. Eventually these “rocks” begin overwhelming you as you hold them. You sense the weight of them, and as you look on them, they consume your thoughts as they are right there before you. They start to get so heavy that you begin getting upset, accusing these “rocks” of ruining your race.

As this anger & accusation mounts in your heart & thoughts towards these “rocks”, someone walks by and mistakenly misses the garbage can when they were throwing out a piece of trash. It ended up rolling out in your way as you are running your race. Immediately, you feel this trash in your way was intentional and you spat back in anger & throw accusations at the poor one who mistakenly missed the trash can. You are so busy getting caught up in the “hurts” you are carrying & how its’ affecting your race, you don’t recognize the reality of the situation – that someone simply made a mistake when throwing out trash.

Eventually, someone on the sideline offers you a backpack. They say, “Here, this is to help you carry all that stuff you are holding. Maybe it’ll help.” As you stop, this person helps you put the “rocks” a.k.a. “hurts” into the backpack. This person reads some of the rocks you are carrying and begins to comment, “Oh my. So & so said that. They did that? Wow. Well, I heard she has a gossip problem. Did you see how she said that the other day?” You see? Somehow this person appeared helpful, but all they did was add to your burden, not knowing that while they “helped” to pack your bag, they only put more “rocks” in that were in her own hand. So, now the weights you are carrying only got heavier.

But, you keep running. As you are running, you catch a glimpse of someone running alongside of you on the track, saying things but you can’t really hear well as you start getting more frustrated with the backpack. The straps aren’t tight enough, so you begin fiddling with the straps as you run. Eventually, the straps start getting twisted & wrapped around your waist & arm. You try to fix it & move around while doing so. You don’t realize you’ve changed direction in the course of your race. And, at the same time, you bump into others running the race. They end up throwing their “rocks” (hurts) at you for disturbing their race. So, now, you’ve taken their “rocks” also and add to your pack while trying to adjust your backpack just right to hold all your “rocks” a.k.a. hurts.

There you are again, spouting anger & accusation at everyone who throws these rocks at you, that they are ruining your walk with God.

“Wait! Where is God?,” you think to yourself.
“Wait! What happened to that Person who was running by my side & was saying something to me that I couldn’t hear?,” your thoughts continue.

As you realize you are off course, you see others running another race. They don’t have packs & you observe “rocks” also being thrown at them. But, they either dodge them or take them, but toss aside carefully being mindful of who is around them. You see one of the runners aim for the trash can, misses and hits someone else. You see their regret, but before they can apologize, the other runner throws all kinds of rocks out of anger. Immediately, you remember that one that threw trash at you. You think to yourself, “Were they missing the trash can like this person? And, what did I do? I threw rocks back at them.”

As you watch the same runners, you see someone running next to them. He is running & shouting encouragements to the runners. You see these words of encouragement are giving the runners endurance to keep running strong and to stay on course. When someone throws a “rock” at them, you hear this “Coach” speaking words like, “forgiveness, lay it down,” etc. The runners listen & obey to continue to have endurance to keep running strong.

As you observe, you look around for that One who was running near you when you were on course. You turn around to see Him there waiting with arms extended, encouraging you to get back on course.

As you make a decision to turn towards Him, you are so overwhelmed by your “weights” on your back that you fall. You cower & fret, fearing to look up, where you think you may find Him looking over you, shaking His head at you for being such a failure. (Isn’t that what one of the rocks said anyway?)

You look up to see Him bending next to you, trying to undo your straps that got you entangled. At first you snap at Him & hit Him – “What are you doing? making it tighter, pointing out what a mess I am?” He shakes his head & waits for the invitation to continue to help.

Eventually, you realize He’s just trying to help you. You stretch out a hand and ask for help. “What should I do?” His answer, “Stay still & keep your eyes on Me & hear My words.” So, now, you are in a position of yielding to His freeing hand & becoming an ear to His words as He takes off the “weights” of “hurts” you’ve been holding onto.

As He frees you, He guides you back on course. You look ahead at the race and explain how you feel like such a failure &you have lost so much time getting caught up in the “rocks” & “weights” in the pack. As you say that, a rock comes your way because you got in their way. You go to react, but your Coach puts His hand out & takes the force of another rock for you and turns to say, “Forgive & let go. Don’t carry these rocks.” Then, He starts speaking words like, “I have a hope & future for you. My thoughts are good towards you. Move forward, etc.”

You realize, as you begin to get back on course that He is running this race of life with you. All the while, you notice “rocks” being thrown at Him, but they don’t affect Him or hinder Him. You begin to realize that if you focus on Him & His Words, what He is saying you will begin to build greater endurance to run this race well.

Hebrews 12:1-2
1 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

So, how did or does this apply to what I was going through last week? Well, I saw that I was taking those rocks, whether thrown intentionally or not, and I was holding them. I saw that I took them to just be loaded into the pack I was already carrying. I knew there were hurts God was already healing, but when I saw this illustration, it just caused me to see a bit more clearly how I can handle my present day hurts.

When you study the Greek word for “weights” that is used in Hebrews 12, it actually means a mass (as bending or bulging by the load). It also connotes a hindrance. When hurts are not dealt with maturely and rightly, they can be hindrances to what we are called to in this life. They can also serve as hindrances to relationships we have with others. But, we so often can throw back these hurts in the wrong directions or right back at the ones that threw them. But, what does that accomplish? We are then just found being a hindrance to anothers’ race and slowing ourselves down in process. In effect, you may feel there’s healing, but all that’s happening is more wounding.

“I am free to run, I free to dance, I am free to live for You.” This is a song I first heard in children’s church. May this be my testimony! And, being I heard it in children’s class, it reminds me once again to come humbly before Jesus as a child. He used a child as His example of how to come to Him in simple, childlike trust. I want to be free to run & dance & live this life for Jesus!

One last thought (I feel this is my common closing line :))…not only did Jesus help expose these “weights” I was carrying and the more I was taking on, but, in His simple way, He showed me how I need to get back to the simplicity of loving Him again. Was I seeking Him already? Yes! But, there was something starting to distract me from Him in my seeking! You see, at the time, I was praying about a lot of stresses in my life. And, they need to be prayed for. But, I felt Him showing me that my eyes were getting set there on the stresses, that I was starting to miss Him as my BEST COACH, my BEST FRIEND, pouring His love & encouragement over me. Once again, my eyes were being set on the Author & the Finisher of my faith!

My friends, fellow mothers, and more – I believe as you yield those “hurts” that others have thrown at you…these can be by our own children, mistakenly by our husbands or intentionally by those who wanted to hurt, we need to not carry them any longer. Let us lay aside those weights that could lead to such sin that it ensnares us before we even know it. Let us not be found as that one who provided the backpack…a person prone to gossip & slander. But, let us see our GREAT COACH ready to take those hurts for us. Let us hear His words to cause us to move forward in faith to finish our race, that will not lead us off course. Friends, let us recognize the One who has already ran this race of life and hear Him coach us forward towards the finishing line! Open your hearts & fix your vision to see Him ready to be your Coach for this race called life.

Can I Get A Witness?

I felt led to start going through my memory verse for the rest of the week. It is Hebrews 12:1-2. I find I learn the verse more when I actually study the verse (makes sense…otherwise, what’s the point of memorizing it?). Think about it – we can memorize and quote it, but can we apply it? So, this is good that I am studying it :).

Hebrews 12:1a – Therefore, we also, since we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses…(NKJV)

Often when I’ve read this verse and thought of “witnesses”, I’ve initially thought of those who are watching my life. This is true in some measure, but as I’ve heard through preaching and as I study the verse more, I see it goes to greater lengths. If you read Hebrews 11, you see the infamous chapter of those in the Bible that we learn have walked in “faith”. They have walked through many trials, dangers and impossible circumstances and their response to these trials, dangers and impossible circumstances? FAITH! They have believed God at great expense. And, if you study their lives, we have the great comfort to know also that they struggled in their faith as well. I don’t know about you, but that brings comfort to me…how many times have we struggled to believe God when all we see is what wants to take us under in fear, depression, discouragement and failure? But, here’s our encouragement! Others struggle also…the question is – how do we struggle?

These battled through unbelief, yet have been counted as persons of faith in the Bible. In the end, they were found responding to God’s final word, despite their struggles. So, when we come to the first verse of Hebrews 12:1, I hear a command & an encouragement all wrapped up in one. Who are we surrounding ourselves with in our battles of faith? Firstly, are we surrounding ourselves with those who have gone on before us – i.e. studying the ones God gave us to read about in the Bible to learn from? Secondly, are we surrounding ourselves with those about us who encourage us forward in the faith? These are not “perfect” ones, but ones who unquestionably love God and want to honor Him and do so by seeking God for His wisdom, love and truth. I have such a group – they are the mothers I pray with…they are my breath of fresh air when I feel choked by my failures as a parent or when discouragement wants to press me under the waters of life, where I feel I may drown in sorrow. Each one has their battles, but I’ve watched each one cling to God and it encourages me to cling to Him when I’m down. They have been “witnesses” to God helping them through their struggles and if we had a modern day Hebrews 11 chapter, they would be found there! And, because they know these struggles, they pray with much compassion – because they KNOW and UNDERSTAND. And, they pray with much wisdom – because they have gone to the Lord through everything and have found a WORD that God has spoken…

What are “witnesses”? If you look up the word in the Greek, we learn the following: It is the word: martus – yes, the same word we get “martyr”…Think about it, a true martyr had died to all reasoning that would cause them to turn from Christ…if anything, their thinking reflects one who has turned wholeheartedly to Christ in the face of an obvious impossibility and danger. Should not this same mindset be reflected in all of us who follow the Lord? In the face of a report that speaks contrary to what we want to hear, where do we turn? Do we turn away from the Lord and give over to thoughts that cause us to denounce the goodness of God in our lives? Or, do we fall to our knees in our hearts in such desperation for Him?

I also like how the lexical aid in my Hebrew-Greek Key Word Study Bible puts it: “one who remembers, one who has information or knowledge or joint-knowledge of anything; hence, one who can give information, bring to light, or confirm anything”

That definition makes me think of the ones in my life who “remember” God at work in their life, that they share with me the “information” they know about Him, whether through study or personal experience. And, these also are able to “bring to light” God’s goodness. And, they are able to “confirm” how God is working already. Thus, they are “witnesses” – ones who have died to all reasoning that leads them away from Christ, but have only gained more understanding and revelation of who God is because they’ve turned to God in face of their difficulty!

Sometimes we attribute these witnesses as only those we read in the Bible or those we’ve read biographies on. Yes, these are “witnesses”, but may I add, these “witnesses” are the moms I pray with, the friends around me who live to honor God when going through a really dark time, the students in the Bible school I work who press into God when they are tempted to give up. These witnesses cause me to move forward in faith.

May I add one last thought? (thanks :)…imagining you just answered ‘yes’…and, for the sarcastic ones who said, ‘no’…oh well…you have to listen anyway :))

Look through the Hebrews 11 list…who are these “witnesses” that believed God when all else said otherwise?
Abel – a farmer, Enoch – he liked to take walks, Noah – a ship builder, Abraham – rich man (see Genesis 13:2), Sarah – housewife, Joseph – favored son to rejected brother to accused employee (you get my point…he went through a lot), Moses – a foster child, etc.

Of course, you know that each one can have more description to who they are, but these simple descriptions just explain that the ones who are “witnesses” who can confirm and give us hope to turn our faith and focus to the Lord in our thoughts and actions are ones from ALL different backgrounds, all different pasts and all different levels of economic status. They are everyday people. So, can we categorize those who are of “faith” in a certain group? NOPE…it’s simply one who has turned their thoughts, reasoning and actions towards Christ in the face of trial, difficulty and impossibility.

Hebrews 11:2 For by it (faith) the elders obtained a good report.
Isaiah 53:1 Who has believed our report? And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?

Many are “reporting” of God’s goodness…may we surround ourselves with those who can give such a “witness”!

Can I get a witness? 🙂

What’s the Bigger Picture?

“I am the Light.” John 8:12

The above picture is what I thought of when asked the following at the end of my devotional: “Think bigger! You choose the issue that’s pressing on you right now – the one that seems impossible to solve or work your way out of. How different might it look if you knew your problem had a “bigger” answer, a “bigger” reason for being there?”

As I prayed on this and thought about one particular difficulty I’m going through, I immediately thought of this picture. When I look at this picture, I see hands reaching out above stormy seas. What’s the bigger picture through my storm? I can’t get overwhelmed by the storm rocking me around, but catch the glimpse of the hands of God in control over my storm. But, not only that, there is a lighthouse. A lighthouse’s purpose is to help guide other ships. Thus, through my storm, if I see those hands, others around me will be led to see Jesus more clearly. They will see the One who is the Light (John 8:12 – as the plaque says below the picture).

This picture was a wedding gift almost 10 years ago from a precious couple. This couple faced a difficult trial a few years ago in which the husband died, leaving his wife a widow with four children. Recently, Dawn wrote a book, When Thunder Rolls. It is their story…and, God used it when I went through my miscarriage. Though Dawn didn’t face miscarriage, she faced loss – loss of her husband, the love of her life. As I read how she handled her grief, it enabled me to draw closer to Jesus. Little did she know that her storm caused Jesus’ hands to be seen more clearly so that I can be lead closer to Him.

We don’t realize what God is doing in the bigger picture. This morning, I felt the Holy Spirit quicken this thought to me: The bigger picture is this: Jesus is standing over your storm in control with the purpose to shine a light that will draw people to Jesus.